Fictional zombie terrorists...

This case has been the straw that broke the camel's (i.e. my) back. If William Poole's story really is true and it was just a fictional short story about zombies attacking a school, then why is this kid being held on terrorism charges? I called George Rogers Clark High School, but there was no voice mail to leave a message. I'm going to call again tomorrow during normal hours to see what I can find out. I'm also going to call the WPD.

Isn't the Internet great?

More information to follow as I have it.

Braaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnnsssssssssss...

Next time you want to write a horror story, better make sure it doesn't involve zombies overrunning a high school. Apparently, that's a crime in Kentucky.

So, it's now okay to arrest high school students for writing short stories about violence in high schools? Joss Whedon, Alfred Gough, Josh Schwartz, Bob Stuber, and Michael Moore better not travel to Kentucky.

Oh, Hardy Boys and Nancy Drew books are now illegal too...

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UPDATE
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I just re-read the title of the news article: "Student Arrested for Terroristic Threatening..." Terroristic threatening? The kid wrote a short story about zombies attacking a high school ( a non-descript high school, according to the author) and now he's being called a terrorist? I think I'll look into this some more.

You want a crisis? Here's your stinkin' crisis...

Social Security? Nope.

Iraq? Well, sort of...but still, nope.

Falling value of dollar? Bingo.

Finally!

Something good comes out of a reality TV show. Kwame Jackson, the token black guy from the first season of The Apprentice, will apparently be hosting a show on CNN.

In the unchlorinated pool of reality TV show "stars," Kwame is king. At least he's doing something worthwhile unlike the guy from that one show on Fox awhile back...oh, and the winy brat who did the thing on CBS...and the couple from Fear Factor...

Who am I kidding? Most of these people will die in obscurity. If they actually won, they might end up on an "Inside Hollywood - Where are they now?" special

Remember that guy that Kwame lost to, Bill Rancic? Apparently he now sells Mike Ditka's cigars.

Mike Ditka makes cigars?

Wolf! Wolf!

Apparently, Sony is working on a product to compete with the omnipresent iPod. Didn't they already try that? Well, yes, as a matter of fact they did ... several times.

Oh, right, those didn't work...

One year? No, no...we meant 27...

Are you scared yet? You should be.

The U.S.S. Diplomatic...

Irony of ironies...

The last name I would associate with a sleek, nimble, deadly attack submarine is Jimmy Carter. Maybe this attack sub will cruise into enemy waters waving a smiley-face flag and shoot flowers and newly constructed houses onto the shore...

Don't get me wrong, I think what Jimmy Carter has done with his life is very admirable and has done much to pay for the current administration's sins. But naming an attack submarine after one of the world's most well-known pacifists...that's just bass-ackwards.

So you want to buy a Prius...

Apparently, several states are considering a per-mile road usage tax (another link here) to fill the gap in fuel sales tax left by hybrid cars and their fuel efficiency. Oregon is the front-runner in this endeavor and appears to making good progress. Which is probably an oxymoron considering the privacy issues at stake. According to their FAQ page, the RUFTF has the following to say about using GPS:

Would a driver’s privacy be invaded by the mileage counting device placed in the vehicle?

Privacy issues are of great concern to the task force. No one has any desire to allow the government the ability to track the movement of vehicles, either concurrently or historically. The Road User Fee Task Force is looking at several devices to electronically calculate mileage and each of these devices can be configured in such a way that will not allow tracking of a car’s movements.

Will someone be able to track a vehicle’s location and movements if GPS devices are used?

No, a GPS device only knows where it is; no one else does. For anyone to be able to get data out of a GPS device, the device must be equipped with a transmission mechanism. Rental car companies outfit GPS devices with cellular transmission over a wide area so that the rental company can track the vehicle’s movements. The Road User Fee Task Force is exploring transmission via radio frequency and not cellular. A radio frequency signal travels only a few feet and the data transmitted would only be mileage data, not vehicle locations. There would be no capacity for the transmission of vehicle location for purposes of tracking movements. Specific location data would not be recorded, so it would not be available to transmit. Thus, no privacy issue exists.

I would agree that no one (except the Department of Homeland Security, the U.S. military, hackers, police departments, terrorist groups, ) would want to be able to track the movement of vehicles.

I guess we better trust the government because seemingly innocuous systems have never been abused...

On latex and flowers...

Valentine's Day is filled with roses, candy, cards, and other consumer whoring. However, there is (in my mind anyways) a redeeming fact about this day: it's my birthday. That's right, folks, today is the day that God placed me, head first and screaming, into the latex-covered hands of my mother's doctor.

So, while the rest of you (those who, of course, do not share today as a birthday and live in countries that celebrate today) are out securing chocolates, flowers, candy-grams, singing telegrams, dinner reservations, and other *ahem* products, I will be at home enjoying my festivities with my beautiful wife.

I bought her flowers on Friday...

Steaming piles of software...

Some genius (second and/or fifth one) had the idea that theft, deceit, and pushing hellish products on unsuspecting customers was a good business model. No, I'm not talking about Microsoft, although the thought did cross my mind.

I'm referring to those hell-spawned pieces of steaming software that are collectively known as spyware. I noticed that my computer was running a little sluggish and decided to investigate. After installing Ad-aware, I ran it and discovered that my computer had indeed been infected with no fewer than 400 malicious applications, temporary internet files, and registry keys. I was dumbfounded. "How could my computer become infected," I thought to myself (and said none too quietly to my wife). I have literally laughed in the face of spyware and thought my computer to be immune. Afterall, I have a firewall, anti-spyware software, and anti-virus software installed. Plus, I don't click on links that say "Need a boost? Click here to enhance your manhood."

What went wrong? I let my guard down. Don't let it happen to you.

We value your call...

In a follow-up to my Earthlink rant, there is an article over at Cure for the Common Life on the modern form of self-flogging.

Which is fine by me; occasionally I don't have time to work out and need to get my heart rate up...

Propaganda and those who pay for it...

If you didn't see this already, a reporter was shot and killed in Iraq. While this is certainly tragic, it is not unheard of in a combat zone (which, contrary to some opinions, Iraq still is). My question about this incident is this: what is the U.S. government doing spending $62 million on a news service in Iraq? From the article:

"The al-Hurra network, set up with a $62m grant from US Congress to rival stations like al-Jazeera and al-Arabiya, was launched with the aim of promoting democracy and winning over public opinion in the Arab world to the US point of view. But some Muslim clerics have denounced its output as propaganda."

Of course it's propaganda! "Winning over public opinion in the Arab world to the US point of view" could very well be the definition of propaganda. Isn't a democracy "of the people, by the people, and for the people", not "of the outside powerful influence, by the outside powerful influence, and for the furtherance of the outside powerful influence"?

Come home safe, Kenny...

I found out on Sunday that I have a personal connection with a soldier serving in Iraq. A family friend, who is pictured here standing next to Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld, has a wife and children waiting for his safe return to them. His family is in Germany. I hope whatever the Bush administration is trying to hide is worth this man's life and the emotional and physical well-being of his family (and the 149,999 other troops' lives). Now, I hope Rummy there knows that the guy next to him has a soul mate, a son, and two beautiful daughters.

But he probably doesn't...

"Hello, Bill? This is Steve..."

According to this article, Apple Computer (i.e. Steve "Black Turtleneck" Jobs) has been approached by three of the largest computer manufacturers about licensing OS X.

"Who are these three," you ask? Well, let's look into this a bit. At first, I misread the article and mistakenly thought that it said "one of the three biggest" but upon closer inspection I did, in fact, stand corrected. So, let's get on with it...

The three largest computer manufacturers in the U.S. are Dell, HP, and Gateway/eMachines. Dell is not a good candidate as they are competing with Apple on just about every front: they market their own answer to the iPod, they are pushing their education market sales, and they just don't fit the "cool" moniker that Apple has. HPaq would be a very logical choice: they are pushing heavily into the entertainment industry, they recently started marketing their rebranded iPod, and they don't really compete with Apple in the software market. Gateway/eMachines just doesn't fit in with Apple's image at all.

Let's look at the players on the international field. IBM, Fujitsu, Sony (who really isn't a "largest"), and Acer (I didn't know they were still around). IBM would probably be a good candidate as they are already committing to shipping alternative OSs on some of their boxes. Sony is only included in this list because they are the only PC manufacturer that fits Apple in their approach to the market and their style. I have no clue about Fujitsu or Acer, but for all I know they could be approaching Apple.

If this report is true, I would hope Apple doesn't miss the train this time around too. Refusing to license nearly killed them. I hope they learned their lesson...

Battle of the mediocre...

Firefox. The hip (adjective, not noun) replacement for Internet Explorer (you Windows folks don't get a link because you already have it; you Linux people, well, you know). The bastion of 'net nerds everywhere...

and the most inconsistent browsing experience I've had in recent memory. I understand that it is in v. 1.0 and that things aren't going to be perfect. Website content shouldn't, however, just stop working from one day to the next. This has happened to me too many times to just be a fluke. The solution I have found to work is...

Uninstall Firefox. Uninstall Macromedia Flash 7.0. Reinstall Firefox. Reinstall Macromedia Flash 7.0.

All of this just to visit IGN? Considering the alternative, I think it's worth putting up with some inconsistencies and an occasional browser reinstall instead of putting up with the travesty that is IE. That is, until something better comes along...

White Castle to offer Filet Mignon...

It's confirmed.

Wal-Mart will be selling Apple's nearly ubiquitous iPod. Granted, it's the Shuffle, but it's still an iPod. As a friend of mine said, "...its also suprising cause Apple is a fairly liberal American company.. when WalMart is fundamentally unAmerican..."

What will this do for Apple's image? Will people (like myself) who abhor Wally World suddenly start shopping there just to save $3 on an iPod Shuffle? I know I won't. Will everyone carrying an iPod Shuffle be seen as cheap?

Who knows? Maybe Wal-Mart will start selling BMW's...

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Update
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My good friend, Chris, has informed me that Wal-Mart currently sells iPod Minis, iPods, and the slew of related crap that goes along with them.

Naked podcasting (well, sort of)...

Americans are wierd beyond all reason. Any niche hobby, fetish, anti-social behavior, schizophrenic personality, or aberrant desire, you can find someone in the U.S. that has practiced it. Now, the same may be true of other countries, but nowhere, that I'm aware of, is it more highly celebrated and condemned at the same time.

What draws 10,000 people to a PodCast about nothing and everything done by an artsy couple in California? Now, this is by no means "deviant" or "sub-human", but it is odd.

Now, where's my iPod...

Fox News sucks...

A friend sent me these two URLs, one for FoxNews and another for the AP. The content is identical, but take a look at the headlines. The first headline tells you how to feel about the situation. The second headline lets you make up your own mind. Why does Fox insist on telling its readers how to feel about the news they're reading?

Google to Mapquest, "Thanks for the idea..."

This is becoming about as common as a Microsoft security patch. Google has announced yet another web service: Google Maps.

Searching for a business in the area that is centered on the map provides a nice way to find, say, a Sushi restaurant in San Francisco. Unfortunately, what it doesn't provide is a way to do a second search without hitting the back button. This returns you to the Google Maps home page and clears any map searching you've already done. It would be nice to have a "New Search" button or similar functionality available with the search results so that the city does not have to be located every time you want to find a business.

Overall, I see this as a step in the right direction. I imagine Google Maps will see a few changes between now and the time it is actually moved out of Beta. I also imagine it will never get moved out of Beta just like everything else in Google Labs.

This brings up a good question: why do Google's Beta software builds demonstrate more functionality and polish than most other companies' Public Release builds? Could it be that *gasp* Google realizes that people actually want good software?

Earthlink sucks...Part II

Earthlink redux

I promised this one, and now I'm ready to deliver the goods...

If you'll recall my previous post on the topic of sub-par customer support by one of the U.S.'s largest ISPs. Well, it doesn't end there.

After apparently exhausting all other resources and giving logic the bird, a DSL "specialist" provided my brother with the following brilliant scheme to diagnose his DSL problem:

1. Grab a pair of wire strippers, wire cutters, an extension cord, and some spare wire.
2. Locate his home's NID box.
(see where this is going?)
3. Grab your DSL modem. Plug it into the extension cord and drag that sucker outside.
4. Open the NID box and locate the incoming telco wiring.
5. Strip a small section of the wires and attach aforementioned wiring to the newly exposed wiring.
6. Attach loose wires to the exposed ends of your Cat5 cable.
7. Run like hell when the Qwest guy shows up.

The last one's mine. On top of all this, they provided my brother with a "Release of Liability" clause with the instructions and informed him that "your phone company may want to be informed prior to performing any alterations." Gee, ya think? I can't imagine that Earthlink would not be held responsible if someone went snooping around their house for loose wires and started cutting into them.

Fortunately, my brother is an intelligent human being with a degree in Social Work. He knows not to go cutting into random wiring around a home built in the 1940's.

Some people aren't so bright...

This box, is, ummm...not a box...

A round box?

Let's follow this logically. The Xbox is, well, a box. A box is the 3-dimensional representation of six conjoined squares. So, if someone wanted to come up with a logical sounding, albeit false, successor to Microsoft's gaming platform, all they would really need to do would be to propose a so called "Xball". I admit, it sounds somewhat convincing.

Considering how most current gadgets are being named with short, alphanumeric combinations (Sony's string of cellphones, the PS2, PSOne, N64, Nintendo DS, Gameboy Advance SP, N-Gage QD) instead of actual words, I find the name Nintendo N5 to be much more believable as the name of a "next-gen" game console.

"Next-gen." Now there's a hip term...

He loves me, he loves me not...

This is great!

I guess that's the beauty of being anonymous on the Internet. You can fall in love with your spouse and not even know it's happening. Of course, the made-for-TV version of this will end with them getting back together and moving into an apartment in New York...

Earthlink sucks...

Its very mention in most circles stirs up a plethora of hidden emotions, audible grunts, and twisted scowls. Contemplating it for too long will lead to sleepless nights, ulcers, and depression. I'm talking about...

OUTSOURCING.

My brother spent three hours this morning with multiple people in various parts of developing countries troubleshooting a failed attempt at setting up a new Earthlink DSL account. Now, three hours may be fine, if the problem had actually been resolved. But no...

After countless (begin Indian or Chinese accent) "We don't need to worry about that"'s and "That's not important right now"'s, my brother gave up on the phone end of things. Mind you, the questions he was getting the aforementioned responses to were "I just received an error stating that it can't get an IP address. What should I do?" and "It can't detect my NIC. Is that bad?" Apparently their troubleshooting scripts don't allow for logical questions.

Finally, my brother asked me to come over. He wasn't a happy camper. He kept mumbling something about "Frikkin' 'Dat eez note important now.!" After fifteen minutes of troubleshooting, we decided that we needed a second computer to rule out his laptop as the problem. Gee, maybe Earthlink should put something in their script about isolating the source of the problem. But I digress...

Oh, one more thing: every time my brother was put on hold, Earthlink would inform him that "J.D. Power and Associates ranked Earthlink customer support #1!" Join me for my continued rant about Earthlink next time we talk.

Razing the dead...

The RIAA is out of control!

They recently sued a deceased woman. Now, I'm not a lawyer for the RIAA, but I would imagine that a little fact checking would be in their best interest. With all the spewing they've done about file sharing over the Internet, you would think that they would at least have figured out that you don't have to use your real name on P2P networks!

The McLaden...

I give you...The McLaden!

Seriously, people, this is getting quite ridiculous. The profile of an alien appeared to me once in the floor tile of the bathroom stall at work.

My point is that recognition is, in a nutshell, a visual pattern or set of visual patterns embedded in the memory portion of the mind. Due to the random nature of the universe, it is highly likely that there are going to be similar pattern groupings that exist in multiple locations in our universe.

So, if a pattern on a grilled-cheese sandwich looks like Osama bin Laden, or Jesus, or The Virgin Mary, it may just be your brain recognizing familiar visual patterns.

By the way, given the region where he lived, Jesus probably looked alot like Osama bin Laden.

Google gets friendly...

Google has been on an incessant march to seer said brand onto the consciousness of the public. I think they've done a pretty good job.

What I don't understand is why I suddenly received 41 Gmail invites yesterday (it appears as though Google has increased all Gmail acounts' invitation amounts to 50). Could it be that Google is gearing up for an actual rollout of Gmail? What I would imagine a more likely scenario to be is that Google is performing some smoke testing on their Gmail servers.

I guess we'll find out...

Nerds with breasts...

Girl gamers...

Nothing gets a nerd's heart rate up faster than mentioning female gamers. There are two common (and quickly eroding) misconceptions about videogames -

1. They aren't cool.
2. Girls don't play them (or if they do, they're not cool).

Take a look at this article over at Slashdot.

Now, I don't normally enjoy reading randomly moving conversations, and this time is no exception. However, they did bring up a very good point: video game marketing caters to the lowest common denominator. Are all male gamers sex-starved, pixelated-breast addicts?

Let me know what you think...

I don't have anything to talk about.

I want my first post to be edgy, insightful, and startlingly frank. I think I'll talk about hemorrhoids...